This whole not talking business -- it's a fucking mess.
I spend more time fighting myself to not call, not text.
Even when I don't, it doesn't feel like a victory.
What is your fucking problem?, I wonder.
I should just stop bitching and take it, yeah?
The truth is: I want to fight for her.
Is it possible that the best I can do is stay silent?
Do you really love her? asks some voice from inside.
I do.
So I fight myself -- and I don't call her.
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