"pining in the trenches of a retching world"

Today feels so much like yesterday and the day before; but time would have it that there is a marked distinction between the days. Today is the beginning of a new year.
"A new year!" I think "now I shall be able to move past those old struggles of last year." Resolutions and clean calendars don't make for much existential change in my heart, or extensive change whatsoever. Yet the thought of newness resonates within my soul. The very idea of renewal, of redemption, of a NEW day... my soul lies pining in the trenches of this retching world, languishing until the day of redemption. Even after the Apple drops, the excitement of a presumed new day is over, as it has become all to familiar in word and thought and deed.
A year ago as I walked along Calcutta streets, past beggars and businessmen, temples and shrines, death and life; I couldn't rid myself of the child-like exuberance of a new place. The smells and sounds and sights were all so different that I thought, surely, I was new... but to no avail. I still hated change, was still frustrated by overbearing people, thought selfishly before helping others. It was not a new year in the sense that I was longing for.
Here is what my heart pines for, the disasters of my soul (the landslides of emotions, the destruction of joy in a tumultuous tidal wave in my mind... natural disasters) the earth shares these same pains. As Paul said in Romans:

"For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
[Romans 8:20-26]