Mechanical Christianity

I see it alot. Mostly, in me. If you've grown up in the chuch, perhaps you'd understand where I am coming from. We have Sunday worship ever Sunday morning from this time - to this time, we go to worship practice, we got to a candle light service. You sing, maybe you even memorized the words to the songs because you sing them so often. Showing up for church, whether I'm ready or not, is so detached from how I'm actually feeling most of the time. But, I've learned what answers earn respect, I know how to make people cry tears of joy with a song, I've learned to manipulate everyone's heart but my own. Because, I become a machine. This monstrous Christain machine. I spew out the right answers. Listen to a prayer request, and spout out the automated response "I'll be praying for you this week". How often does that happen? How often, after the benediction, do I go out into the world to spread the Love of Christ with a hurting world? Machines cannot do that. Just like my beloved "self-check out" lines at Wal-Mart, if there is an actual problem (and, with people problems and complications will always arise), if there is a question, or a need - - the only thing it can do is carry on it's intended function. It won't see the necesity in a tone of voice, or in someone's eyes. That's when you go to customer service I suppose... but there aren't customer service lines in real life. I suppose that's what many people think pastors and therapists are for. And, yeah, they are. But... if machines like me actually stopped and became real... would there be such a need?