Un-finished

i am unfinished in the Hands of a Working GOD.
there are mountains before and mountains behind, things will always change.
God is Himself unchanging.
i have not the strength to carry on nor the will to do so,
but through CHRIST, i can do all things.
i am weary of religion, and weary of carrying the weight of a world laden with hurt and bondage.
weary of hearing empty words spoken from empty mouths, with eyes so full of despair.
mourning the cry of the poor, the hungry, the forgotten in a world which has deaf ears.
we all see the need, and yet we all think of ourselves first.
i condemn no one, only what i fight in myself.
there lies within a longing to fight for a change to help others, but when you cannot even combat yourself on your own strength, what arrogance to think i can take on a world of people just like me.
God can change the world.
God can change my heart.
i trust to God the future, as i am yet just as unfinished as it.
we are unfinished works in the Hands of a Working God.
HE has never left anything unfinished, and all that He makes is good.

Farewell

Here's to travels and crazies.
Who knows what the future holds?
After all, "The wonder of it all--
is where I'll be next year" as Monday Morning
would say. You really couldn't come up
with these kind of adventures on you own.
I'm glad God has a much better imagination
than I.
Change is in the air, even as seasons
change. And not everything will be as it
has been. But there is Hope in the future
and there is Faith in the promises of
God. And there is Love. And, so really
nothing will change so much.
I leave now to do laundry... and to
practice the art of bowing in a respective
manner...

Cherenobyl's Children

Perhaps no one quite knew the magnitude of operations being carried on inside of a Communist era nuclear reactor facility. No one ever thought that one foolish slip-up, one careless action could ever create such destruction. And perhaps no one ever thought that one selfish ambition could shake the world. But that is where we are, is it not?
There have been entire communities, a generation, the product of the nuclear catastrophe. Fallout transcending years. And disfiguration and distortment which have followed generations. These carry the scars of the past with them into their future. If only Eve knew such repercussions. We surely do.
And it is in this sin stenched earth where Eve's progeny suffer the fallout of the disaster that was never intended to reach so far. It is in the disaster where Hope has been extended. And a whole generation from beginning to end, of disfigured saints and deformed pilgrims walk towards the cross of Jesus Christ. Knowing this -- we limp now, but we will walk. We cry now, but we shall laugh. We are scorned by our imperfections, but someday we will be perfect. Maranatha!

"Lest We Forget"

Time stands like stones in the ground.
Marble marks the rest in life.
Time stands eternal still,
The lull in infinite transition.
Trees loom high above earthen tombs.
Earth covers over earth.
Sound hangs in whispered tune,
As clear-cut letter deciphers man's condition.
Time hangs still, lest we forget,
For no man.

- October 26, 2008

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So, amidst traversing (and partially trespassing) through a field of cow-pies and boggy hitch-hiker seedy things sticking to my person, part of the adventures of this Sabbath involved a trip to a Civil War cemetery. i don't much like cemeteries, or my birthday for that matter, for certain reasons pertaining to death... but every so often, it is good to see outside of the bustle of humanity the outcome of life. For all the hustling and worrying very little attention is paid to the fact that we're all (unless Jesus comes back soon) going to be under a plot of land somewhere. Morbid, perhaps, but no less true. But to be serious, seeing all of the grave stones and a vast majority of them marked "Unknown" it got me thinking. These were men with hopes and aspirations, dreams and visions just like all men; but all they have to show for it on earth right now is a stone with narry even their name on it. Then the words etched in stone above said: "Lest We Forget" -- indeed, lest we forget that we are mortal. That we take nothing into this world with us and will take nothing out; that only what is done for God will last. Time seemed to stand still in that little plot of land, but that is only an illusion; because, really, time is an illusion -- temprality and time itself are generic knock-offs of the origional: eternity. And there is an eternity ahead. Lest we forget, we live now but a moment, but we shall live forever... who and what are you living for?

Vous n'allez pas secouer mon monde.

What happens when you ask God to do things? Tonight is a prime example: miracles happen, the unthinkable happens, the improbable has no footing, truth makes an appearance and tired grips are reaffirmed.

Gravity

It's raining outside.
The trees are undecided about which color to turn their leaves.
"The World Spins Madly On" is playing in the background.
And i know that's true.
Maybe there were days, in years past, when life felt less weighty.
Though, i can't remember a time like that. That's the beauty of age, i guess --
forgetfulness.
There's this gravity, this weight to everything i do.
Nothing is simply simple. Everything counts, everything matters.
Whether or not my actions are actually weighty, remains to be seen;
but i cannot live, i feel, in an ambiguous state of being.
i cannot say "i love you" to simply hear my words and hope that
they are enough to convince myself and others. There's this issue of gravity
that brings me down, that keeps my reigned in reminding me of what matters.
Softly, intrudingly bringing my head out of the clouds, back to the ground.
That's where life happens, anyway.
It's not possible to love without living. Though it may be possible to live without
ever really loving. And that's terrifying. Gravity, pull me down. And i'll wait
for this fog to clear.

one. thing.

"I have one regret: I regret words."
(Prof. C.C. Chapel series)